December 29, 2015

20 Cool Coats to Wear New Year's Eve

by Matthew T. Murray in The Year in Fashion 2015, Holiday Style, $hop

WHAT'S COOLER THAN BEING COOL? ICE COLD ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT

With that appropriate Outkast reference out of the way, it's time to talk fashion. You already have the New Year's dress ready to roll (I'm guessing it's some ostentatious sequin sparkler á la Sonia Rykiel or perhaps a slinky body-con number from Nasty Gal or Anthony Vaccarello).

And the shoe choice is glaringly obvious - the understated Chanel slingback or some sex-kitten sky-high heel will do the trick (now might be the time to whip out those six-inch Louboutins you bought yourself for Christmas).

And as for the bag? A luxe Edie Parker clutch or trendy Topshop crossbody are just what the doctor (or Anna Wintour) prescribed.

But then it's time to snap back to reality and you remember that it's 22 degrees outside. You're gonna need a coat, boo. It's really not cute to freeze to death. You know what IS cute? When your jacket is the finishing touch, the cherry on top, the pièce de résistance that makes your outfit.

So it's time to hunt down the perfect jacket. Said jacket could already be hiding in the crevices of your closet - you just never thought you could wear that coat for such a special night. But it's almostttt 2016 and the rules of dressing are - there are no rules!

You know that trench coat you only wear to look polished for client meetings? Well, said coat looks less businesswoman and more bad bitch when it's paired with a little white dress. Knock it out of the park with red pumps and a flashy bag and you've got quite the look, missy.

A trendylicious duster coat (Nasty Gal and Forever21 have my favorite - many under $100!) is the perfect compliment for a micro-mini black dress. Pair with a kitten heel or a thigh-high boot. You're good to go.

And if you're dressing down in distressed denim and a white tee for the big night out, dress it up with a statement necklace (I love Dannijo and BaubleBar) and add that faux-fur jacket you haven't worn since last winter.

And if you start second-guessing your look, start chugging 5-dollar champagne while getting ready. You'll like your look a whole lot more, truuussssst me.

But if you really want an excuse to buy a new jacket, I wholeheartedly endorse your decision to TREAT YO'SELF and tracked down the coolest coats to wear over your NYE dress below!

J. Crew

Joe Fresh - under $20!

Nasty Gal

P.S. DID I MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU FOR READING THE OUTFIX!

December 23, 2015

12 Days of Christmas, 12 Bags to Buy Me

by Matthew T. Murray in Accessories, Holiday Style, The Year in Fashion 2015

Dear Santa, I know I've been a naughty little hussy, but I still think I deserve these 12 lust-worthy bags. At the end of the day, I really am a good person despite evidence proving the contrary. And I know I might have done some skunky stuff this year - flirting with the Papa John's delivery dude for extra dipping sauces - but I redeemed myself by doing God's work, including but not limited to allowing that construction catcaller to pinch my tuchas. So come down my chimney bearing these bags and we'll chat - I'll be wearing my red La Perla.

But reader, if this letter to Santa doesn't do the trick - my sexuality may not work here since he's endlessly devoted to that crusty old Mrs. Clause - perhaps it's time to hunt down a sugar daddy. Because when it comes to me and fashion - where there's a will, there's a way! And there's no shame to my game!

I'm going to take that financial investor dude up on his offer. And in honor of this beautiful union and him footing the bill, I wrote this glorious holiday jingle, which should be sung only by the likes of Céline Dion or Mariah Carey:

1. ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

2. ON THE SECOND DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: 2 ANYA HINDMARCHS and an ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

3. ON THE THIRD DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: 3 FRINGE BURBERRYS, 2 ANYA HINDMARCHS, AND AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

4. ON THE FOURTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: 4 TEAL CHLOÉS, 3 FRINGE BURBERRYS, 2 ANYA HINDMARCHS, AND AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

5. ON THE FIFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: 5 FLORAL GUCCIS, 4 TEAL CHLOÉS, 3 FRINGE BURBERRYS, 2 ANYA HINDMARCHS, AND AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

6. ON THE SIXTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: 6 EDIE PARKERS, 5 FLORAL GUCCIS, 4 TEAL CHLOÉS, 3 FRINGE BURBERRYS, 2 ANYA HINDMARCHS, AND AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

7. ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: 7 POLAR KATE SPADES, 6 EDIE PARKERS, 5 FLORAL GUCCIS, 4 TEAL CHLOÉS, 3 FRINGE BURBERRYS, 2 ANYA HINDMARCHS, AND AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

8. ON THE EIGHTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: 8 LEOPARD TORYS, 7 POLAR KATE SPADES, 6 EDIE PARKERS, 5 FLORAL GUCCIS, 4 TEAL CHLOÉS, 3 FRINGE BURBERRYS, 2 ANYA HINDMARCHS, AND AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

9. ON THE NINTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: 9 MIU MIUS, 8 LEOPARD TORYS, 7 POLAR KATE SPADES, 6 EDIE PARKERS, 5 FLORAL GUCCIS, 4 TEAL CHLOÉS, 3 FRINGE BURBERRYS, 2 ANYA HINDMARCHS, AND AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

10. ON THE TENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: 10 VALENTINOS, 9 MIU MIUS, 8 LEOPARD TORYS, 7 POLAR KATE SPADES, 6 EDIE PARKERS, 5 FLORAL GUCCIS, 4 TEAL CHLOÉS, 3 FRINGE BURBERRYS, 2 ANYA HINDMARCHS, AND AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

11. ON THE ELEVENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: 11 SAINT LAURENT-YS, 10 VALENTINOS, 9 MIU MIUS, 8 LEOPARD TORYS, 7 POLAR KATE SPADES, 6 EDIE PARKERS, 5 FLORAL GUCCIS, 4 TEAL CHLOÉS, 3 FRINGE BURBERRYS, 2 ANYA HINDMARCHS, AND AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

12. ON THE TWELFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: 12 PEACHY PRADAS, 11 SAINT LAURENT-YS, 10 VALENTINOS, 9 MIU MIUS, 8 LEOPARD TORYS, 7 POLAR KATE SPADES, 6 EDIE PARKERS, 5 FLORAL GUCCIS, 4 TEAL CHLOÉS, 3 FRINGE BURBERRYS, 2 ANYA HINDMARCHS, AND AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

December 17, 2015

The 15 Sartorial Scores of 2015

by Matthew T. Murray in The Year in Fashion 2015, Holiday Style, $hop

2015 was quite the year for the gays and gaggles of girls who live and die by the Bible - the Bible being Vogue, of course, where Karl Lagerfeld is Jesus and Miuccia Prada is the Virgin Mary.

There were countless moments that had me screaming YAASSSS - Rihanna showing an entire nation of females that they are not worthy of her presence at the Met Gala, the drumroll announcement of Balmain x H&M, Gigi Hadid serving body at Victoria's Secret, Cookie Lyons' outfits on Empire that gave my life purpose.

But alas, it was the standout sartorial phenomenons that thrilled me most. The covetable Chanel slingbacks. The Chewbacca Gucci loafers. The Muppets-meets-Lagerfeld Fendi bags.

There was a lot to drool about, especially when the never-ending street style slideshows seemed to showcase all the aforementioned 'IT' items.

The fashion girls certainly got the memo and dressed to impress (or is it dress to depress considering the harsh unavoidable reality that the fluffy Fendi bag mentioned prior costs more than your rent). But ahhh, a girl can dream.

Here are the 15 sartorial scores of 2015 that had us all daydreaming about a world where money grows on trees.

1. THIS FENDI BAG THAT TWEETY BIRD DIED ON. MAY SHE REST IN ETERNAL PEACE.

2. THE GUCCI JACKET STOLEN OFF THE BACK OF NEIL ARMSTRONG WHEN HE LANDED ON THE MOON

3. THE PAULA CADEMARTORI BAG THAT INDUCES AN EPILEPTIC SEIZURE IN THE GOOD WAY

4. THE CHANEL SLINGBACK THAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF

5. THE ROCK & ROLLIN' JACKET FROM THE BALMAIN X H&M COLLAB

6. THE GUCCI LOAFERS STOLEN RIGHT OUT OF CHEWBACCA'S CLOSET

7. THE MIU MIU SHADES YOU WILL WEAR WHEN A POLICE OFFICER COMES KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR TO TELL YOU YOUR RICH HUSBAND HAS DIED OF MYSTERIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES

20 Cool Coats to Wear New Year's Eve

P.S. DID I MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU FOR READING THE OUTFIX!

12 Days of Christmas, 12 Bags to Buy Me

1. ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

2. ON THE SECOND DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: 2 ANYA HINDMARCHS and an ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

3. ON THE THIRD DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: 3 FRINGE BURBERRYS, 2 ANYA HINDMARCHS, AND AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

4. ON THE FOURTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: 4 TEAL CHLOÉS, 3 FRINGE BURBERRYS, 2 ANYA HINDMARCHS, AND AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

5. ON THE FIFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: 5 FLORAL GUCCIS, 4 TEAL CHLOÉS, 3 FRINGE BURBERRYS, 2 ANYA HINDMARCHS, AND AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

6. ON THE SIXTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: 6 EDIE PARKERS, 5 FLORAL GUCCIS, 4 TEAL CHLOÉS, 3 FRINGE BURBERRYS, 2 ANYA HINDMARCHS, AND AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

7. ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: 7 POLAR KATE SPADES, 6 EDIE PARKERS, 5 FLORAL GUCCIS, 4 TEAL CHLOÉS, 3 FRINGE BURBERRYS, 2 ANYA HINDMARCHS, AND AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

8. ON THE EIGHTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: 8 LEOPARD TORYS, 7 POLAR KATE SPADES, 6 EDIE PARKERS, 5 FLORAL GUCCIS, 4 TEAL CHLOÉS, 3 FRINGE BURBERRYS, 2 ANYA HINDMARCHS, AND AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

9. ON THE NINTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: 9 MIU MIUS, 8 LEOPARD TORYS, 7 POLAR KATE SPADES, 6 EDIE PARKERS, 5 FLORAL GUCCIS, 4 TEAL CHLOÉS, 3 FRINGE BURBERRYS, 2 ANYA HINDMARCHS, AND AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

10. ON THE TENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: 10 VALENTINOS, 9 MIU MIUS, 8 LEOPARD TORYS, 7 POLAR KATE SPADES, 6 EDIE PARKERS, 5 FLORAL GUCCIS, 4 TEAL CHLOÉS, 3 FRINGE BURBERRYS, 2 ANYA HINDMARCHS, AND AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

11. ON THE ELEVENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: 11 SAINT LAURENT-YS, 10 VALENTINOS, 9 MIU MIUS, 8 LEOPARD TORYS, 7 POLAR KATE SPADES, 6 EDIE PARKERS, 5 FLORAL GUCCIS, 4 TEAL CHLOÉS, 3 FRINGE BURBERRYS, 2 ANYA HINDMARCHS, AND AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

12. ON THE TWELFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY SUGAR DADDY SENT TO ME: 12 PEACHY PRADAS, 11 SAINT LAURENT-YS, 10 VALENTINOS, 9 MIU MIUS, 8 LEOPARD TORYS, 7 POLAR KATE SPADES, 6 EDIE PARKERS, 5 FLORAL GUCCIS, 4 TEAL CHLOÉS, 3 FRINGE BURBERRYS, 2 ANYA HINDMARCHS, AND AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS FENDI.

The 15 Sartorial Scores of 2015

1. THIS FENDI BAG THAT TWEETY BIRD DIED ON. MAY SHE REST IN ETERNAL PEACE.

2. THE GUCCI JACKET STOLEN OFF THE BACK OF NEIL ARMSTRONG WHEN HE LANDED ON THE MOON

3. THE PAULA CADEMARTORI BAG THAT INDUCES AN EPILEPTIC SEIZURE IN THE GOOD WAY

4. THE CHANEL SLINGBACK THAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF

5. THE ROCK & ROLLIN' JACKET FROM THE BALMAIN X H&M COLLAB

6. THE GUCCI LOAFERS STOLEN RIGHT OUT OF CHEWBACCA'S CLOSET

7. THE MIU MIU SHADES YOU WILL WEAR WHEN A POLICE OFFICER COMES KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR TO TELL YOU YOUR RICH HUSBAND HAS DIED OF MYSTERIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES

8. THE KIINI BIKINI THAT WON THE HEARTS OF INSTAGRAM'S BADDEST BABES

9. THE SELF-PORTRAIT DRESS WHERE A BOUQUET OF ROSES SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED AND FOUND REFUGE ON A STRAPPY DRESS

10. THE SHRIMPS FAUX-FUR JACKET THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN'S TWIN SISTER WANTS FOR CHRISTMAS

11. THE ANYA HINDMARCH BAG THAT FELL OFF A FLOAT AT THE GAY PRIDE PARADE

12. THE ALEXA CHUNG X AG SKIRT THAT GIVES ME LOLITA VIBES - HEYYY VLADIMIR NABOKOV!

13. THE CHLOÉ BAG THAT SERENA VAN DER WOODSEN WOULD BE SPOTTED BUYING AT BARNEYS NEW YORK. XOXO GOSSIP GIRL.

14. THE ADIDAS STAN SMITH EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHO STAN SMITH IS AND GIVE NO SHITS ABOUT HIS LEGACY

15. THIS WHISTLES FAUX-FUR COAT YOU ALSO STOLE FROM CHEWBACCA'S CLOSET. SORRY CHEW CHEW!