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The Outfix

December 17, 2015

The 15 Sartorial Scores of 2015

by Matthew T. Murray in The Year in Fashion 2015, Holiday Style, $hop


2015 was quite the year for the gays and gaggles of girls who live and die by the Bible - the Bible being Vogue, of course, where Karl Lagerfeld is Jesus and Miuccia Prada is the Virgin Mary.

There were countless moments that had me screaming YAASSSS - Rihanna showing an entire nation of females that they are not worthy of her presence at the Met Gala, the drumroll announcement of Balmain x H&M, Gigi Hadid serving body at Victoria's Secret, Cookie Lyons' outfits on Empire that gave my life purpose.

But alas, it was the standout sartorial phenomenons that thrilled me most. The covetable Chanel slingbacks. The Chewbacca Gucci loafers. The Muppets-meets-Lagerfeld Fendi bags.

There was a lot to drool about, especially when the never-ending street style slideshows seemed to showcase all the aforementioned 'IT' items.

The fashion girls certainly got the memo and dressed to impress (or is it dress to depress considering the harsh unavoidable reality that the fluffy Fendi bag mentioned prior costs more than your rent). But ahhh, a girl can dream.

Here are the 15 sartorial scores of 2015 that had us all daydreaming about a world where money grows on trees.

1. THIS FENDI BAG THAT TWEETY BIRD DIED ON. MAY SHE REST IN ETERNAL PEACE.

2. THE GUCCI JACKET STOLEN OFF THE BACK OF NEIL ARMSTRONG WHEN HE LANDED ON THE MOON

3. THE PAULA CADEMARTORI BAG THAT INDUCES AN EPILEPTIC SEIZURE IN THE GOOD WAY

4. THE CHANEL SLINGBACK THAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF

5. THE ROCK & ROLLIN' JACKET FROM THE BALMAIN X H&M COLLAB

6. THE GUCCI LOAFERS STOLEN RIGHT OUT OF CHEWBACCA'S CLOSET

7. THE MIU MIU SHADES YOU WILL WEAR WHEN A POLICE OFFICER COMES KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR TO TELL YOU YOUR RICH HUSBAND HAS DIED OF MYSTERIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES

8. THE KIINI BIKINI THAT WON THE HEARTS OF INSTAGRAM'S BADDEST BABES

9. THE SELF-PORTRAIT DRESS WHERE A BOUQUET OF ROSES SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED AND FOUND REFUGE ON A STRAPPY DRESS

10. THE SHRIMPS FAUX-FUR JACKET THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN'S TWIN SISTER WANTS FOR CHRISTMAS

11. THE ANYA HINDMARCH BAG THAT FELL OFF A FLOAT AT THE GAY PRIDE PARADE

12. THE ALEXA CHUNG X AG SKIRT THAT GIVES ME LOLITA VIBES - HEYYY VLADIMIR NABOKOV!

13. THE CHLOÉ BAG THAT SERENA VAN DER WOODSEN WOULD BE SPOTTED BUYING AT BARNEYS NEW YORK. XOXO GOSSIP GIRL.

14. THE ADIDAS STAN SMITH EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHO STAN SMITH IS AND GIVE NO SHITS ABOUT HIS LEGACY

15. THIS WHISTLES FAUX-FUR COAT YOU ALSO STOLE FROM CHEWBACCA'S CLOSET. SORRY CHEW CHEW!

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