30 Knockout On-Sale Dresses To Wear For Turkey Day

by Matthew T. Murray in


Do you have your outfit planned for Thanksgiving? Thought so. Don't worry. Most sane chicas have no freakin' clue what they will wear to gobble turkey with the fam. And there's a lot of factors at play here. For one, Aunt Beatrice always throws shade about your weight so you want to shut her up the minute you strut through that door. Secondly, you have to wear something that may hide that bloat (for the sole purpose of still keeping a metaphorical lid on Beatrice's big fat mouth). Third, your Grandma is the poster girl for 'conservative dress' and is sure to give you a long-winded lecture on ladylike dressing should you arrive with any skin on display. Lastly, your mom chewed your ear off last year for daring to arrive underdressed - even though your mind convinced you that you were channeling Miranda Kerr in white jeans and a t-shirt (your mom had no idea who this mythical creature Miranda Kerr was so you lost that battle quicker than the Anglo-Zanzibar war). So how do you nail the perfect outfit to please everyone and yourself? Simple solution: the party dress. Whether it's spangled with sequins or adorned with a kitschy butterfly print, a dress for Thanksgiving is the best way to look polished and pretty. I've combed through the Interwebs and did the research for you (you're welcome, bae!) and found 30 dresses that might make you fist-pump to non-existent music like Pauly D in the Jersey Shore heyday (oh, the golden days of good television). Spend the extra coinage and opt for OVERNIGHT SHIPPING so you get these suckers Wednesday or Thursday morn, the latest. Eat crow, Aunt Beatrice, eat crow. 


20 LEGO BLOCK-HEELS TO TEST-DRIVE THIS WINTER!

by Matthew T. Murray in


I never thought I'd be cheering for sensible shoes. 100-inch Loboutins that put your life in jeopardy are the ones I will always tell you to wear. But this time around, I've fallen head over heels (sorry but it was my civic duty to go for that pun - it was right there tempting me like Krispy Kremes!) for a comfortable block-heel style.

These shoes also may or may not have studied at Hogwarts with Harry Potter: they magically help you with balance so you don't look like that famous hippo in Fantasia, even though that hippo is and forever will be my spirit animal after a night of binge drinking Jim Beam and making my way home. Anyways, back to my point - It's time to stop jitter-bugging around the West Village pavement in sky-high stilettos. Check out the slideshow for 30 dope styles to test-drive this winter. WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA, LADIES!